Below is a letter/prayer I have written to myself... and every woman I have ever known or will know.
I will not make myself small in order to support you in filling your ego’s empty empowerment. I will love you as you are, even though I may not always say what you want me to say or how you want me to say it. It does not mean I do not care.
I will set clear and healthy boundaries with you because it is my duty to myself and I will appreciate and accept your own towards me, even if it hurts a younger part that I am carrying along with me. I will say Yes to your open heart and when I see yours closing I will send love to you, maybe closely or maybe from a far.
I wont expect you to be perfect but I will hold a sacred container for you to Rise in to your completely magnificent Self (with a capital S) if you choose to. I will never deny you your gifts or try to overshadow you in any way. it’s impossible after all, we are both so unique and different and special in our own way, equally.
If my shining starts to awaken pain in you, I won’t stop, because I know the time will come when you shine along with me and the light we create becomes so bright all are drawn to join us. You are not alone. You don’t have to do it alone. It’s ok tone scared. Its ok to be. Its good. Its bad. Its neutral. Everything. You are.
I write this letter to myself. I see myself in all that you are. Nothing separate. Its amazing what a beautiful mirror you hold for me. Im sorry if I ever caused you pain or hurt you in any way, I hope this heals you to hear this.
A part of me wants to control your reaction, I am afraid of being hurt so much. I know you are too, thats why our speaking of our feelings feels so painful sometimes. Thats why we check out, gossip or keep it all tucked away tightly so none else can see, the ugliness we feel is within us from the mistakes we made. Thats all they were. The love in you is still real.
You don't need to read this or hear this, I hope you can feel it. I hope we can wash away the fear within us and come closer together. I hope I can love myself so much that its enough for me and I stop questioning my interactions with you. I hope I can open my heart without it being hurt again. i hope… I don't know what will happen but I hope its wonderful. I have to free fall now… in to the unknown.
My mind tells me you may hate this, judge it and misperceive it. Its ok, I know who I Am. I know my intention is Love. nothing between us but that is the Truth. I let go now.
All that will be will be as it is.
I am not in charge. Love is.
We are always just playing a role… choose the role you play in your story and become more aware of the roles you place upon others.